Wrath of the Titans: a small exercise in schadenfreude

Correlation does not imply causation, but Sam Worthington did happen to 'star' in the two worst movies I saw this year.

Quick plot recap of Clash of the Titans: humans were rebellious; gods got angry; Zeus released the Kraken; Perseus saved the day. All this in atrocious 3D. Now, Perseus is back, this time with more hair and slightly better 3D. Like in most sequels, the explosions are bigger, the CGI creatures are scarier and the plot is a little more ambitious. Like most sequels, Wrath of the Titans is worse than its predecessor. And there is still a mysterious lack of titans.

The main problem with Wrath of the Titans is that it calls heavily on elements that are completely incongruous with the first movie. In Clash, Perseus hated his father, he wanted nothing to do with Zeus and all his godly yadda yadda. In Wrath, the head god and his semi-divine son care about each other. They have casual chats on mountain tops and Zeus even gives Perseus some child-rearing advice. (That’s rich coming from someone who raised approximately 1% of his vast offspring himself, and even those turned out horrible brats. But more on Ares later). Oh father! Oh son! In the time it took Perseus to grow out his hair, he seems to have forgotten that Zeus sent a huge sea monster at him in the first movie.

And that’s only one of the problems. The plot feels too rushed; an island that is supposed to be unfindable is located within five minutes, and an elaborate labyrinth suddenly solves itself once one foe is killed. Perseus kissing a woman could’ve been touching if he had spoken to her more than thrice in the entire movie. Maybe it’s a side effect of the 3D, but Wrath in its entirety feels rushed, cluttered, and confused.

It’s not like this is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Like all Greek myth butchering movies, it was action-packed and entertaining enough. The CGI and some of the visuals were pretty nifty, Toby Kebbell’s character was a nice addition, and it’s great to see Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson have fun as Hades and Zeus. (They’re well-cast, too; surely such phenomenal actors must have divine blood in their families somewhere.) But overall, Wrath of the Titans is about as good as you’d expect a movie in which 75% of the dialogue consists of the words “father”, “brother” and “son” to be.

Subjective: **
Objective: *

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